Intolerantly Tolerant

I really don't have much to say this particular week. I have been hurt and apparently friendships have changed..........and I am sad and disappointed.

I am tired of being hurt by intolerant people. These people profess that we all must be tolerant of X, Y, or Z, but are intolerant of anyone who might disagree with them. I will not fit into a mould created by someone else's ideals.......and I would never ask anyone to that for me either. We are all entitled to our own thoughts, beliefs, and ideas.

I have been told that some of what I say or post is "offensive". Now they won't tell me what it was or why they found my thoughts or sharing of other's thoughts offensive, so I don't have a way to fix it. I have a pretty good idea what caused it. I took a stand for something important to me. I never got vulgar. I never threatened. It never got violent. I expressed myself. Simply, my point of view and opinion was enough to change realtionships.

It is interesting that people that I might expect to have an issue with my opinions didn't stop being my friend in real life. They didn't defriend on Facebook. They either understand that my feeling have nothing to do with them or they ignored my posts.

Sorry this is so short this week, but I am still trying to recover. More next week.

The Highs and Lows of Perseverance

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.  The slogan “Press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”  John Calvin Coolidge Jr.

Perseverance. This word is defined (by dictionary.com) as: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Ever had one of those days/weeks/months/years where it just seems like (or feels like) everything that could go wrong has gone wrong???

Ever had that moment just when everything seems to be going to plan (your plan, not God’s), and in one fail swoop, everything just seems to crumble at your feet???

Some days, it is like wonderful progress (3 steps forward).  Others, you wonder why you even bothered to get out of bed (4 steps back). 

To reach certain goals, it is almost like being in the middle of a 3-ring circus.  Some days, you feel like the tiger being forced to jump through hoop after hoop after asinine hoop.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, they decide to light some of the smaller hoops on fire.  Other days, you feel like you are walking on a tightrope………one tiny slip and *poof*.  The distance across from the ground looks manageable and easy, but once you get right up to it…….it becomes a million miles long and nearly impossible.

That is how life seems at times…….at least to me.  Reaching, striving, and fighting to reach the goal(s) I have set for myself.  At times getting angry, crying (a lot), and becoming so frustrated that I simply want to say %#^& you and give up.  The idea of “Press(ing) on” seemed completely unreasonable as I felt a particular goal would never be met.  The harder it became to reach a goal, the more I seemed to demand/take control over it.  The “Give it to God.” philosophy was all but out the window, because things weren’t happening according to “schedule”…….and we all know how much I love those.

Just keep swimming.  This was the running mantra of late.  My sweet DH would sing it to me and text it to me when I was feeling low, frustrated, or discouraged.  I must admit, at certain times, it was annoying simply because I was in a wallowing mood and didn’t want to be positive and upbeat at the moment.  I must admit, many times I would find myself chanting “Just keep swimming” over and over again as I was jumping through hoops and tightrope walking.

The more control I decided to take over the process(es), the harder it became.  I would get more frustrated and take more control.  It simply became a vicious circle.  It always seems to work that way.  (As a side note, why haven’t I learned this lesson yet???)  Things only seem to take shape and work out when I finally decide to give up control and allow God to do what He knows is best for me.  (Another side note, apparently I need to reread last week’s patience posting......on a regular basis)  I need to remember that God’s plan isn’t on my schedule……no matter what I do or how hard I try. 

Impatiently Patient

“Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.”   Eknath Easwaran

Life can be a bit tough when you are a "Type A" personality.  I like my life on a schedule, planned out to the Ntn degree, every minute accounted for, with the "what ifs" thought out and "planned out".  I make lists.  I write them.  I tic off things to be done in my head.  I love my lists.  It night be some what neurotic, but sometimes I think my life would fall apart without some sort of organization/control over the craziness called life.  My lists and planning lead to me being impatiently patient.

I am pretty sure that I drive my family crazy with my lists.  Maybe I am a bit OCD.  Maybe some of it is genetic.  All I know is that when I want a task or tasks done I want them done NOW!  I don't want to wait 5 minutes for it to get started.  I don't want to wait until the TV show is over for the task to begin.  I just want it done now.  So much for being patient.........now is always better (for me!).

This is an irony that I have begun to notice........not only with myself, but other parents:  We spend so much time and energy trying to teach our children patience.  We look for opportunities to help our children better master this important concept.  We are constantly reminding our children to wait, take turns, share, and understand they can't have what they want when they want it.  Yet, as we are teaching them this, we are also telling our children to do a task RIGHT NOW.  It almost seems hypocritical to demand that our children do a task and showing complete impatience.  After thinking about it, being impatient with the children about the "little things" only creates drama and stress that really doesn't need to be there.  (Just another reminder: "Pick your battles.")

And as if our lives couldn't get any more impatient, our links to text messaging and social media sites seem to feed the impatience.  We now have the ability to know where people are, what they are doing, who they are with, what music they are listening to, and much more.......and all with a few clicks or finger swipes.  We begin to show signs of impatience when people don't text us back "fast enough" or don't respond to a status update or tweet within seconds.  We can even change what music we listen to on a whim as we are no longer stuck only listening to the radio or CDs.  We can now download music we want or listen to radio stations from across the nation and create personalized radio stations on a whim.....all from a smartphone, iPad, or computer. 


So, just how am I (or anyone for that matter) going to teach my children and myself to be patient in an impatient world???  In order to teach patience, one needs to embrace patience and begin to make necessary behavior modifications.  I need to lower the expectations of myself so that I have goals that are easier to achieve.  If the expectations of myself are more reasonable, it will be easier to create more reasonable expectations of those around me.  If I expect a little less out of myself, I will be less stressed and *hopefully* easier to live with.  Hopefully I will be able to show my children and family grace or generosity of spirit by being more patient and less impatient.